Artist Statement
Life is shaped by both small and grand memories that form our core experiences. Short, fleeting moments influence and define our lives as much as the grand memorable ones. These moments manifest themselves through the physical body, dictating how we experience the world. Fat bodies are frequently marginalized, leading to social isolation and exclusion from societal structures. Fat bodies are constantly reminded that they don’t fit into an idealized societal image. Society perceives and values bodies directly linked to size, and this perception impacts ones self view. Shame reinforces this system, playing a central role in perpetuating the cycle of fatphobia in society. I use the camera as a tool to navigate my emotional landscape and to explore the complexities of my experience. These images reflect my personal journey, using performances for the camera that explore the intersection of motherhood, generational shame and body image.
These small, everyday moments are most insidious in internalizing fatphobia. These subtle instances of shame are easily overlooked, especially by those with thinner bodies. Have you ever worried whether a chair would hold your weight? Or wondered if a team shirt would fit? Or been unsure about which snack to choose to avoid public ridicule? I explore these daily experiences in Desire Body.
My body moves in and out of visibility depending on the setting and the surrounding audience. This work is both a personal exploration and a broader inquiry into how a fat person navigates the world. Fat studies has given me a language to articulate these experiences, helping me make sense of the subtle, often invisible, challenges I face.
Alongside my body size, this work also delves into family dynamics. Specifically, I explore the journey of motherhood and the unrealistic social expectations placed on women’s bodies. I am currently mothering a daughter while simultaneously re-identifying myself and working through a lineage of shame. Motherhood, while rewarding, can also be overwhelming and exhausting. Children, like adults, come in all shapes and sizes, and they are either taught to love or hate their bodies. Mothers are responsible for shaping part of their children’s world and self views. This can be daunting, as I consider which traits, coping mechanisms, and ideologies I am passing down from my own family.
I share parenting with my male partner, who is both deeply nurturing and an active caretaker. Though not our daughter’s biological father, he has stepped into a paternal role with love, patience, and commitment. His presence and involvement challenge traditional narratives of parenting as maternal labor. Despite an equitable and supportive partnership, the world often defaults to placing responsibility—and blame—on the mother. This reinforces how deeply gendered the expectations of parenthood remain, and how much work is still needed to reimagine these roles. In this context, my body becomes both a vessel of nurture and a site of scrutiny, a place where cultural assumptions about femininity, desirability, and care converge.
I am deeply interested in how the social expectations of motherhood intersect with the unrealistic standards placed on women’s bodies. Throughout history, the maternal body has been worshipped—often to the point of exploitation. The term “motherhood” itself carries with it a set of social expectations and structures that I seek to question and redefine. How should motherhood be understood in today’s society? Why is the traditional role of women as mothers so slow to evolve? Why has hyperfemininity been the standard representation of those who identify as female? In today’s society, we are commodified, sexualized in advertisements, and scrutinized for our appearances. These societal pressures lead to a crisis in our children’s lack of confidence, with girls fixated on their perceived imperfections.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why is so much energy devoted to caring about others’ opinions? And most importantly, how can we change this? Can more diversified representation of women’s bodies shift perspectives? It is my responsibility to my daughter to reclaim and redefine the symbolic images of women. We must take care to see and honor those who feel unseen.